Talk: Antidote to Toxic Leadership


In a culture fueled by a winner-takes-all mentality, toxic leadership rears its head across our careers and our lives. It affects us all, leaving many feeling trapped, exhausted, and hopeless within toxic work environments. But there's a way out. This talk is for those who seek the antidote to toxic leadership and want to become part of the solution, rather than perpetuating the problem.

In this talk, I delve into what toxic leadership is, providing a comprehensive understanding of its origins and dynamics. Drawing upon my extensive experience as a humanity activist, keynote speaker, and social entrepreneur, I offer actionable principles, tangible tactics, and change-making approaches to empower you to lead in a new way. My focus lies at the crossroads of gender, race, and generational power shifts in society and how they profoundly influence our leadership styles, whether in our personal lives or professional careers.

If you've ever found yourself questioning your own worth due to the impact of toxic leadership, this talk is tailored for you. Toxic leadership's pervasive influence can make you feel like a mere cog in a broken system. But by gaining a deeper understanding of these toxic models and systems, you can embrace your own authentic leadership style.

This video is a lifeline for those seeking a way out of toxic leadership and an invitation to join the ranks of solution-driven leaders.

 
 

Prompts to consider as you watch and to come back to as you continue your journey towards your own brand of authentic leadership:

  • What aspects of my life are conditioned belief or the “marinade” and what aspects are authentically me?

  • In what ways do I find myself doing things because “they’ve always been done that way” though they don’t work or everything in me tells me it isn’t right?

  • In what ways can I embrace a growth mindset? Are there areas or problems in my life where I feel stuck or defeated that I can revisit with a more curious lens?

  • What decisions have I made lately through a lens of fear or based on a zero sum game mindset? Are there more abundant alternatives that I can brainstorm or consider instead?

  • How much does urgency dictate how I approach my day, my relationships and my sense of worth?

Topics covered:

  • [1:00] agenda for the talk

  • [1:30] Nikki’s bio and background

  • [3:00] definition of toxic

  • [4:30] origins of toxic leadership

  • [6:20] looking through a DEI lens

  • [7:00] profits over everything mentality 

  • [7:45] handling being in a toxic environment

  • [11:42] mesearch: get to know yourself

  • [15:15] embracing a growth mindset

  • [17:15] encouraging connection

  • [19:00] communicating vulnerably 

  • [19:55] zero sum game thinking

  • [21:40] urgency

  • [23:00] “this is how it’s been done” model of operating

  • [24:00] pressure from “shoulds”

  • [24:25] permission to see yourself as a leader

Quotes:

  • “We know it's [toxic leadership] not in the description of a business as you're looking at a resume or on their website. Like it's not something that you can easily be like, “oh, okay, they've got the toxic leadership certification” It’s something that is pervasive.”

  • “These systems didn't just start yesterday. They're not being made by one person's decision. They are passed down from time to time, and they were set up for very specific reasons.”

  • “I was very intentional about talking about women's leadership and diversity, equity and inclusion intentionally with regard to racially how we're not allowing people that don't look like a straight, white, heterosexual male in these places of power. And so oftentimes that narrow demographic has us, whether overtly or kind of behind the scenes, feeling like I don't belong in leadership at all because I've never seen anybody that looks like me, sees me, and would welcome me into a room.” 

  • “The last piece that I think is really important as we start looking at the systems is we've often been taught that profits over everything are the most important. And so when we're doing that, that dehumanizes us. Again, dehumanization to me is another word that is part of that pervasive toxic poisonous structure.”

  • “These systems are meant to make you feel like you are less than, so that you are subservient.” 

  • “Identifying yourself separate from the environment is a key part of it. Oftentimes, we're indoctrinated into believing that we are our jobs, and that makes it so we lose our own sense of value or our own sense of decision making and our own sense of differentiation of "Is this right for the business, or is this right for me?”

  • “Getting more of a sense of who you are and how you wanna operate I think is a really empowering thing. But it also gives you the tools to be able to share your brand, share your operating model with other people so that you have the ability to show up in resonance for yourself.”

  • “I think that if you are finding yourself leaning so deeply individualism, it can be really, really challenging for you to be able to feel like my authentic way of operating is something that resonates with the world because you're only hearing it yourself and the world around you is telling you that you can't trust yourself.”

  • “Oftentimes, when we're operating under urgency, we're not making decisions in alignment with our values.” 

  • “Your leadership style can be your own brand and is your own brand.”

Thanks for checking out this talk! I hope you found it insightful and it got your wheels turning. If you’re interested in diving deeper, here are a few options to explore: